the most important lesson is empathy

I have been growing my hair long and cutting 10-12 inches off to donate to Locks of Love for several years now. I was thrilled when my oldest daughter, Shae, stated she wanted to "share her hair too!" Obviously, she didn't have 10-12 inches (10 in is the minimum amount needed to create a hair prosthetic) to cut off, but Locks of Love will take any amount and sell it for funds to continue their organization. She willingly let me chop off a sizable ponytail and then wanted to know who was going to get to "wear her hair." We looked at the Locks of Love website (http://www.locksoflove.org/index.html) and I read to her their mission statement:

Our mission is to return a sense of self, confidence and normalcy to children suffering from hair loss by utilizing donated ponytails to provide the highest quality hair prosthetics to financially disadvantaged children. The children receive hair prostheses free of charge or on a sliding scale, based on financial need.

She started asking questions about other kids that are dealing with illness, and we talked about visiting them in the hospital and doing nice things for them to bring them joy and a little sunshine into their days. She was genuinely concerned for these kids, and it was a blessing to us both to spend a moment feeling grateful for our health and for having one another around all the time.

Here's another childrens' charitable organization that we are involved in....http://www.penniesforpeace.org/ This organization came about when one man saw that the best "war on terror" is to build schools and empower the youth of Pakistan and Afghanistan with an education. It has taught my 4 year old the hardships that children in these countries face, such as poverty, war, and illiteracy. She is learning amazing lessons of empathy and compassion from our involvement with this organization!!!

I encourage you to teach your kids about charity and the reality of human suffering as early as possible. It's amazing how early children are able to understand and feel empathy for their peers.

"As mothers we are helping our children write their story. I hope to help them write one that includes love, compassion, and empathy for the world around them."

hirsutism is funny

"Many people believe that postpartum depression is fairly rare.  Actually, 15-20% of new moms – about 1 million women in the US each year – experience these illnesses, and some studies report that the number may be even higher. It is quite common. In fact, it is the number one complication of childbirth. You are not alone."(http://postpartumprogress.typepad.com/)

I told myself when I started this blog that I would post the "sunny day" stuff about me and my girls for a while before I got to the "cloudy day" stuff. For those of you who know me, I don't follow many rules including my own. I'm not going to go into any detail about my feelings and thoughts of hurting myself and my children. I need this account to be light-hearted, for my own sake. (disclaimer: the following myths are developed from my personal experience and I do not assume they are myths for anyone else.)

Myth #1 PPD occurs after the birth of a child or during the first year.
I have been suffering from ppd since late 2004. I was 12 weeks pregnant when I experienced my first symptom of ppd. I remember the feeling of being completely out of control as if it happened yesterday. It was Christmas day 2004(I hate Christmas!) and I was getting dressed for the usual festivities at the in-laws. Being 12 weeks pregnant, I felt fat, ugly, and there was an intense feeling of losing control of my whole life lingering in the dark alley of my mind. The panic slowly crept up as I was trying to put on mascara (cause make-up covers the truth). I felt it coming, but I was a pro at denying the truth, so I held it back. I learned very quickly that the illness is stronger than your denial. BAM! Full on panic attack! My panic attacks realize as uncontrollable rage. Have you ever experienced someone addicted to steroid use? 'Roids rage? Well, that is the picture you should conjure up...a chubby, 12 week pregnant woman with 'roids rage!! It's not pretty. I was throwing things, punching things, screaming, and crying. I was a hysterical mess. We were late to Christmas....I hate Christmas!

Myth #2 The symptoms of ppd usually dissipate or go away completely after the first year.
My daughters are 2 and 4 years old and I am still suffering from bouts of ppd. However, the symptoms come less frequently, I have fewer mood swings, and I feel more in control of my anger than I have in years. My case is more than likely different from others, due to the fact that I also have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). This lovely hormone imbalance disorder causes a large array of unfortunate symptoms for me, including hirsutism (unwanted facial hair), uncontrollable feelings of anger/rage, and insulin-resistance. When I was diagnosed, the female doctor stated she had only seen testosterone levels like mine in 13 yr old boys! AWESOME!!! I remember laughing at her and asking her if I was going to grow a penis anytime soon. She didn't laugh. So, the pcos either exacerbates or prolongs the ppd symptoms...who knows? There hasn't been enough research done on either condition (which goes for most female disorders) so the relationship between the two is just a guessing game.

Myth #3 Pharmaceutical drugs are the only means to relieving symptoms.
I am happy to report that I am no longer on SSRI's or hormone replacement therapies. This is not due to the recommendation of a health care professional (read: I'm going against my doctor's orders), but due to the successful implementation of alternative therapies. I'm not saying that others who suffer from these conditions need to stop their meds, and create their own alternative prescription. I rarely recommend anyone make the same choices I do. I am merely sharing my own experience and what is working for me. Since moving onto alternative therapies, such as herbal/whole food supplements (5-HTP, spirulina), massage therapy, yoga, and talk therapy (with my dear friends) I have noticed increased levels of seratonin. Seratonin is the neurotransmitter that aids in the regulation of mood, appetite, sleep, muscle contraction, and some cognitive functions including memory and learning. It is also known to be depleted significantly by abnormally high levels of testosterone in the body.

I don't mean to sound disrespectful when I make jokes or laugh about these illnesses. Choosing to laugh and not take everything so seriously is my way of staying sane, you can't blame me, right?! My girlfriends and I have coined it as "Loving the suck!" Since I have chosen to embrace my demons and love the suck, I have finally felt as if I have been freed from the cage.

I have a condition, it doesn't have me.

geology lovers

We are collectors of rocks. They are everywhere in our world. In the car, under the couch, in the kitchen drawers, and even in the bathtub (I have mixed feelings about rocks as bathtub toys, but whatever :-/) They are our friend, our canvas, our inspiration, and our piece of 'outside' inside. There is nothing better than searching for that perfect rock, wherever we are, whatever we're doing....we have rocks on the brain!! It's so heart-warming when I ask my girls what they want to write on their rock, and they start saying stuff like, "Girl Power" and "I am love" and "Rock On"!!!! It demonstrates to me that I am doing something right!

This is a really simple and dirt cheap (literally) way to make art with your kids! The only rule is you have to give them absolute freedom of expression and let them get REALLY DIRTY!!!

Step 1: Go outside! As much as possible! Let your kids dig in the dirt, get absolutely filthy, and become one with the earth. Oh, and you do it too! Don't worry about dirt under your nails...that's what soap and water is for.

Step 2: Find rocks that have a smooth surface and aren't too heavy for your kids to carry. Also, they should be non-porous...so the paint will stick.

Step 3: Buy kid's acrylic paint, paint brushes in many different sizes, and several paint markers. Paint entire surface of rocks and write or draw on them with markers.

Step 4: Remember....NO RULES!!! Allow your kids to get paint all over the place including all over themselves...it's the only way, trust me!!

Step 5: Enjoy this time with them to the fullest!! You will never have this exact moment with them again. The more spontaneity and creative expression allowed...the better !!

HAVE FUN!!!!

We are 2, 4, & 31

My two daughters and I...that is. We are so different, so alike, and teach one another so much everyday! We are walking a path together respecting one another as individuals, loving unconditionally, and picking one another back up when we fall. As the mother, I am allowing my experience to build the path that we walk on, but the innocence and pure wonder of my daughters to guide our way.

We wish to share with you snippets of our story, cuttings of our art, shadows of our souls, and pieces of our hearts.

Walk with us....